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Navigating ADHD and LGBTQIA+ Identity: Real Stories, Real Strength

Life with ADHD is already an adventure—full of unexpected detours, creative breakthroughs, and moments of pure chaos. Add being LGBTQIA+ into the mix, and you might feel like you're navigating an entirely different world. The intersection of these identities brings unique challenges, but also incredible strengths.

April 2025, Kristina Proctor, ADHD Coach @ Agave Health

Rainbow flag at a parade

The Overlapping Challenges (and How They Show Up in Real Life)


A Personal Experience

My life experience with ADHD and LGBTQIA+ identity does have overlap. From masking my ADHD to masking my queerness, I knew from a young age that certain behaviors and identities felt incredibly different.


Masking inevitably led to pushing down who I was, which resulted in immense amounts of stress. I also struggled with making friends and having relationships due to masking and the feeling that I would be 'found out.' Whether that meant my queerness would be rejected or my imposter syndrome would take over, I always felt like I had something to hide. So, I did what many people do—my masking turned into a drive for perfection, type-A organization, and 'falling in line' approaches.


While this worked—for a while—it took so much energy just to function at school and later, work.


Masking and Identity Fatigue

Many LGBTQIA+ folks feel pressure to "mask" their identity for safety or acceptance. Similarly, those with ADHD may hide their symptoms to fit societal expectations. Managing both can lead to burnout, anxiety, and isolation. Have you ever felt the weight of masking? What helped you?Learn more about ‘masking’ on this blog>>


Mental Health and Misdiagnosis

LGBTQIA+ individuals are more likely to experience mental health challenges due to discrimination and stress. When combined with ADHD, these struggles are often misdiagnosed, leaving people without the care they need (NIH).


Rejection Sensitivity and Self-Worth

Both ADHD and LGBTQIA+ identities can come with rejection sensitivity—intense emotional responses to criticism or exclusion. This can make relationships and self-esteem especially challenging. For more insights on managing rejection sensitivity dysphoria, check out this blog post (ADDitude Magazine).



Strategies for Thriving


Find Community Support

Connecting with others who truly "get it" is life-changing. Seek out ADHD-friendly LGBTQIA+ groups, both online and in-person. You’re not alone in this journey (The Trevor Project and ADDA).


Work with Inclusive Professionals

Therapists, coaches, and medical providers who understand both ADHD and LGBTQIA+ identities can make a huge difference. Organizations like Agave Health offer ADHD-friendly, inclusive care through coaching and therapy (Agave Health).


Practice Radical Self-Compassion

Instead of masking, embrace who you are. Give yourself grace on tough days, celebrate your wins, and build routines that support your unique brain and identity.

You can start with small steps, like wearing clothes that you enjoy at home or in another safe space. This will grow your confidence over time! Small steps create progress, there is no one right way to unmask and honor yourself!



You Are Not Alone

Both ADHD and LGBTQIA+ identities come with hurdles, but they also bring incredible strengths. By finding support, embracing authenticity, and using strategies that work for you, you can build a life that feels like home.


Looking for ADHD support? Agave Health offers expert coaching and care tailored for adults navigating ADHD. Learn more at Agave Health.



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