Let’s dive deeper into a topic that impacts many of us managing ADHD: masking. Masking is when someone hides their true feelings, behaviors, or characteristics to conform to societal expectations. While it can sometimes be beneficial—especially in navigating social and professional settings—it can also lead to significant personal and emotional challenges. Let’s explore when masking is useful, when it can be harmful, and how to find a healthy balance.
January 2025, Rebecca Branham, ADHD Coach @ Agave Health
Understanding Masking
For adults with ADHD, masking often involves concealing symptoms to blend in or succeed in environments that may not be supportive or understanding of neurodiversity. This can include:
Hiding restlessness
Pretending to maintain attention
Suppressing excitement that might be considered inappropriate
When Masking Is Helpful
1. In Professional Environments
Specific Example: Consider a high-stakes meeting where showing overt restlessness or frequently changing the subject might be viewed negatively. Masking these impulses can help you maintain a professional demeanor, ensuring that colleagues and superiors focus on your contributions rather than your ADHD traits.
How It Helps: Strategic masking in professional settings can safeguard relationships and open doors for career advancement by aligning with workplace norms and expectations.
2. During Formal Social Events
Specific Example: At a formal dinner or a wedding, you might choose to mask behaviors such as speaking out of turn or fidgeting excessively. This helps ensure smoother social interactions and avoids drawing unwanted attention that could lead to misunderstandings or social stigma.
How It Helps: Masking in these situations can facilitate better interactions, reduce potential bias, and help you form new relationships without initial judgments based on ADHD-related behaviors.
When Masking Becomes Harmful
1. In Close Personal Relationships
Specific Example: If you constantly hide your struggles with maintaining attention during conversations with your significant other, they may perceive you as disinterested or uncaring. This lack of transparency can lead to misunderstandings and emotional distance.
Why It Hurts: Continual masking in intimate relationships can prevent authentic connection and support. Over time, it may result in loneliness and resentment for both you and your partner.
2. Impact on Mental Health
Specific Example: If you spend your workday masking symptoms like hyperactivity and impulsiveness, you may come home feeling exhausted and depleted, unable to engage in personal hobbies or spend quality time with family.
Why It Hurts: Long-term masking can lead to burnout, anxiety, and depression. The constant vigilance required to “pass” as neurotypical erodes self-esteem and takes a toll on overall mental health.
Strategies to Manage Masking
1. Awareness and Acceptance
Recognize the reasons behind your masking and assess their validity. Embrace your ADHD as a part of who you are—this can reduce the pressure to hide your true self.
2. Selective Masking
Consciously choose when and where masking is truly beneficial, such as in a job interview or during a critical negotiation. In safe environments, allow yourself to be more authentic.
3. Build a Support Network
Surround yourself with friends, family, or colleagues who understand and accept your ADHD. Safe spaces provide emotional relief and help you check whether masking is necessary.
4. Professional Guidance
Work with a therapist familiar with ADHD to explore how masking affects your life. A therapist can offer personalized strategies to reduce unnecessary masking and strengthen healthy coping mechanisms.
Final Thoughts
While masking can be a useful tool in certain situations, it’s important to use it judiciously and remain mindful of its potential emotional impact. At Agave Health, we encourage you to find a balance that honors both your professional goals and personal well-being. Let’s continue supporting each other as we strive to embrace our authentic selves while navigating life’s complexities with ADHD.
Comments